1 post tagged “new-beginning hot-weather journaling going-through-memories "gentle-giant"”

It's another steamy, oppressively hot day here.  The only place to be is in the air conditioning.  Honey decided to be at my heels when I went to the garage a little while ago.  She visited several places in the yard to "read the canine newspaper" so she would know who of her fuzzy, four-footed friends had paid us a visit while we were in the house.  She was only out for 10 or so minutes, but when we came back in, I wasn't too surprised to find that she was more than toasty warm.  Even with being in the shade she was burning up.  Having a fur coat can be a bummer at times!  

The only upside to our weather is that it has afforded me the opportunity (without feeling guilty because of yard and garage projects) to go through albums and scrapbooks, my past journal entries, I've downloaded photos to my flickr site, and I just finished posting baby pictures of our oldest nephew.  He now has a special gal by his side, a two-year-old little gal and a precious new baby boy.  It blows my mind to say that because it seems like only yesterday that he was a tiny baby himself.  He and his wife post pictures on their site and they encouraged me to do the same.  I am so glad I’m doing it because I have "met" a number of talented folks who are very much into photography and are willing to share ideas as well as photos.  S and  R are both talented photogs and it has been so neat to be able to see their little ones grow day-by-day through their camera lenses! 

I have been listening to our favorite music that, as I have said before, I SOMEHOW was able to download into my laptop.  Wonders will never cease!  My next experimentation will be to add some special music to my site.  The music and all the things I am going through now have brought back many good memories. 

I’m doing my best to keep up with my journal.  My life, at this point, is not so earth-shattering that I feel a desperate need to record it........but I know, from past experience, that “stepping back” will help me to know myself better and my journal entries will enable me me to do that.

As I wrote to a friend some time ago when we were talking about journaling:

".......We are made up of all our, what most people think of as trivial, commonplace activities, feelings and thoughts.  Dick and I have always found that written accounts as we live life day-by-day create special memories; and, what is even more meaningful and important, help us to know ourselves better.  I have always kept a journal and looking back, it sometimes seems that I'm reading what someone else has written and it's a very strange feeling.  I learn things about myself that I have missed because it is so hard to be introspective while taking care of the many daily little things necessary for survival.  I guess while we are going about the business of living, each moment is framented and it's not possible to see the whole picture of what is actually happening at any given moment......it's necessary to step back in order to put all the parts together.  We have found that our writings help us to step back......"

I don't mean this to sound like I'm feeling "down" because I don’t feel that way all the time, it's just that I'm at a stage in my life where it's important for me to discover who I am....once again....in a world where Dick is not physically by my side like he has always been.  I was so young and naive when we first met.  Looking back, I'm realizing that "he raised me" (smile).  I can hardly remember the time in my life when he hasn’t been with me..........as my safety net just in case I made a misstep.  I’m smiling now as I think back to when folks would be surprised at how long we had been married.  Dick always got a twinkle in his eye and told whoever it was that...”HE was a child bride!” (smile).  Another special memory is that he was my “technical advisor” on the zillions of craft projects I have been into over the years.  He was very creative as evidenced by his many patents.  He always encouraged me to be creative, to be independent and to strike out on my own to accomplish the things that mean the most to me.  Even though he helped me to be strong enough to be my own person, it was comforting to know that he was always there.  I miss him terribly.....and not just because he made me feel comfortable and safe.....but, because as a little friend once described him, he was my (6-ft, 4-in with a size 14E shoe)........"gentle giant." 

After going back over this entry, I’m having second thoughts about posting it since reading it will probably be boring for others.  If I do decide to post it.....and it is found to be boring.....I apologize.........